Karkat's depression
by iwatchyaoi
Summary: Karkat decides to commit suicide DAVEKAT pairing


Karkat Vantas had been locked in his room for three days. He hadn't done anything, not even eaten. His mind was in a fog. The last thing he could remember was that Dave didn't love him. Or so he thought. Three days since he had confessed his love to Dave Strider. Dave didn't react at all like Karkat had hoped he would. Instead he didn't react at all. It was as if he didn't want anything to do with Karkat. To make things worse, the voices were telling him to do worse things then they woud usually of done. It was as if they lived off of his self loathing. Witch had somehow grown if that was even posible.

You sat on your computer chair, wanting to chat with Dave, but suddenly, they start talking to you.

'Hey fattass, you think that maybe the reason he didn't want you is because your so fucking over weight? Go make yourself throw up again and see if that fixes anything.'

"Shut. THE FUCK UP!" he yelled at nothing.

He looked down at his stomach. He was 5'5 and 85 pounds. Too skinny. No where near a healthy weight, let-alone fat. However, he didn't see that. He only saw what they wanted him to see. They wanted him to see what was the scum of the planet.

'Hey maybe it was because of the color of your blood' He stared at the floor.

"but why would that matter? He is a human after all, and they all have the same color!"

'Still, dont you think he would want for than your disgusting mutent self?'

"Probably," You started.

'I know, you should just go kill yourself and get this life over with! Isn't that a great idea?' Your head shot up.

"Your right, I should just kill myself. I'm fat, my blood is red, The love of my life hates me..." he paused for a moment.

"AND YOU WONT GET OUT OF MY HEAD! STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!" He was really load, and sure the neighbor could here you through the thin apartment walls.

'Ill go away if you just kill yourself. You wont think about Dave if you kill yourself. Theres some razorblades in the bathroom. Don't you remember buying them for this?' He thought back to that time he was getting groceries witch only consisted of a box of crackers and bottled water. Something about the voices saying he was fat even though he had the body of an anorexic.

"There in there." You confirmed to the voices.

'Good, why dont you go get them?' He entered the bathroom and grabbed the razorblades out of the cabinet. He opened and set them on his bed. He was shaking from fear and the thrill of going away, and he felt the sadness as his heart sank. He would never see Dave Strider again. But what was the point of seeing him if he couldn't have him?

Karkat sat down on the computer chair. He would at least let Dave know what was going on, and maybe apologize in advance. His hands were shakey as he typed, and a somewhat panicked mode set in.

CG: HEY

TG: yo kitkat whats up?

CG: I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

TG: why dude? whats not ironic at all

CG: IM SO FUCKING PATHETIC

TG: no your not!

CG: WELL THAT DOSNT EVEN MATTER ANYMORE

CG: IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING REALLY STUPID

TG: what? karkat what are you saying!

CG: IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF

TG: no, dont do that!

CG: YOUR ALL I CARED ABOUT I JUST CANT LIVE ANYMORE

CG: I GOT SOME RAZOR BLADES

Karkat turned to face them. It felt different somehow this time. He had self harmed before, but not with the intent set on killing himself. He went back to facing the monitor. Maybe Dave had somehow gotten a change of heart and really loved Karkat. Unlikely, but a possibility.

TG: karkat...

CG: WHAT

TG: i'm so sorry...

CG: YOU FUCKING HATE ME

TG: i didn't think you would react like this...

TG: karkat, my blood is red.

TG: the same color as the...er... quadrant that i feel for you.

CG: BUT

CG: YOU

CG: YOU DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND, LET ALONE SAY YOU LOVE ME

TG: but i do.

CG: WHAT

TG: you asked at the wrong moment.

CG: HUH?

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

TG: i had just had a really bad memory the other day.

TG: it was my bro's death anniversary.

CG: OH GOG

TG: er, yeah.

TG: i was really emotional and depressed and shit.

'So it was your fault after all Karkat? You really shouldn't make people feel bad about a lost loved one, no wonder he hates you!' Karkat started to hyperventilate. Breathing in and out really load, he couldn't believe he had put Dave in a mood like that.

CG: IM SO PISSED AT MYSELF

TG: i just didn't want to deal with anyone then, so i said no to everything.

CG: WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID

TG: it's fine bro, you didnt know

CG: GOG I CANT DO FUCKING ANYTHING!

CG: SHIT FUCK

TG: no no no no no.

TG: don't start that again.

CT: ILL MISS YOU DAVE, BYE

TG: NO, IM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW

Karkat got up from his chair, picking up the blade. His hand was so shaky, that he managed to cut his hand on the blade. Not that it mattered though. He sliced it across his wrist, deeper than he had ever previously done. He winced in pain. Blood dripped down his arm. He cut again, and again. Each cut was deeper than the last. Until he had obviously gotten an artery, because blood began to squirt out like a mother fucker.

Meanwhile, Dave was in a frantic dash to Karkat's apartment. He was traveling as fast as his car would allow. Within five minutes, he was at his destination.

"Dear God, please let Karkat be alive, please let Karkat be alive." Dave repeated as you busted through the apartment door. He saw Karkat sitting on the floor, in a pool of his own blood with a blade in his hand. Karkat dropped the blade when saw Dave.

"Karkat!" Dave ran over to the injured cancer. He was so scared he was going to lose him.

"Dave," Karkat began.

"Shhhh, it's going to be ok. Now dont move!"

"Dave, im sorry. The voices told me to." Karkat looked at Dave with such innocent eyes.

"Dont say that!" The blonde snapped.

"It must be all this blood loss thats making you say those things, thats it!"

Karkat began to feel dizzy from losing so much blood, he was near death.

"Dave, I'm tired, so tired." He began to lat down onto his back.

"KARKAT NO!" Dave began to panic, trying to keep Karkat from falling unconscious.

"Karkat, if you fall asleep, you won't wake up! Please dont leave! I need you!" Dave was tying his belt around Karkat's arm to cut off the blood flow.

Karkat lost consciousness.

"KARKAT WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP! FUCKING DAMNIT!" He let out ever swear in the book.

He quickly got out his phone and shot Rose a text.

TG: ROSE!

TG: ROSE I NEED YOU!

-END OF CHAPTER ONE

holy crap thats the story is far from over. review for more!


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